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Posted by Dr. Beverlee
on August 10, 2004 at 09:39:59:
From: M L
Date: Jul 2004
Subject:NEED your help
To: awjsubmissions@yahoo.com Hello Doctor!!
I'd say I need some advice. I am 25 years old, young lady who is very confused. I was born and raised in Phila, when I was 10, my mother committed suicide. Since that happen I moved to Delaware with a wonderful Foster family. I just moved back home (Phila) with my father, grandfather, and sick uncle. My grandmother passed last Sept 03, and I thought I could help, since she did "EVERYTHING" here. It's so hard to go from my own place, going and coming as I pleased, to sleeping on a couch for 10 months, and going through mental abuse, kinda because of my psychopheric uncle who is 45, my father is 47, and never had a job, never moved out!!! Everything handed to him! My grandfather who is 83, wants me to take care of everything--laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, writing bills, PLUS..I have a full time job.
PROBLEM: I have a five year relationship with my long time b/f in Delaware and he is very lonely without me, he visits me on weekends, since I've been here. But it doesn’t feel like enough for him. The drive is a pain and we have no where to go when he comes up (hotels are expensive!) So do I offer him to leave his job find a new one, or do I move back home, I do not want to desert my family. But I am not getting anything but grief everyday, my grandmother and grandfather were not on speaking terms for 15-20 years, (b/c of no sex!) when she passed, and that hurts me very much! She still does not have a headstone, and I think he just wants to spend all her money, that she left,(not to him, his name wasn’t on a thing!) we had to sign over all she had in our names, I wish I could talk to her and find out, what happens now? Everyday, is a challenge, in this house, my uncle is on 6 different pills a day. My father could help out, just chooses NOT TO. The plan was to fix the basement for me to live but nothing has been done in 10 months......what do I do??!!!
I have emotional pain, in every which way. I wonder why I am here on earth for everyday! I also have medical problems with my uterus, I need surgery, to get the cancer out...I just do not know where to turn but I guess here....
Sincerely,
BROKEN HEARTED IN PHILLY
Dear Brokenhearted:
The adult males in your family march to their own selfish drummer without a single care for your wellbeing. In a sense you were abandoned by both parents at a young age and it is a tribute to your character to have grown up to be the woman you are today. I cannot say enough about your courage and kindness. The Yin: Live your life with creativity and joy. You have acted much beyond the call of duty and responsibility. Home is the place where you were a part of a giving, loving foster family and they are your true family. Your father and grandfather act with total self interest. Communicate to them your right to have the life you have chosen. Tell them to get a housekeeper and give them a date when you will leave and return to your home in Delaware. It is not appropriate to ask your boyfriend to uproot his life to care-take with you a group of irresponsible strangers. You will not be deserting your family (father, grandfather); it is they who have deserted you and your needs. It is time for your father to act responsibly if only in his own life! Tell him kindly to do just that, “Get a life that is accountable.” The Yang: Peyton, two parts of your own health concern me. Write me about your “cancer” diagnosis so that I can direct you to proper medical care. Secondly, your mental health will improve when you accept that you are entitled to a daily life which fulfills your own needs, goals, and happiness. Guilt is the poorest companion and if it is pushing you to destroy your best self, then get some help to move on without it. Act on your own behalf and joy will follow. Please contact me again. Best Regards,
Dr. Beverlee, author of The Day the Music Stopped, re-enchantment of our lost spirit
www.selfdiscoveryofspirit.com
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